Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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