oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
