So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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