yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Farmville is her only friend.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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