You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
