Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
