i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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