He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
