Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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