Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
