i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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