i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
