you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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