so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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