Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Oh god it's open bar.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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