The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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