People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
