So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
