Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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