69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think I am morally bankrupt
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
