someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
