if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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