Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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