all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
