I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
BRING THE BAGELS
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize