His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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