I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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