I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
