dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
40s are totally the cure
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
