I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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