the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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