I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
