the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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