i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
