Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
