we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
