Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
