I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
