I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My vagina just recognized that song.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
