if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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