You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
