So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
