yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
