Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
and she was petting her beer can
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
