just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
