you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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