Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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