I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize