I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
