He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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