I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
All the doctor said was why
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