If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
