Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
