you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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