i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
