I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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