on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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