i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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