I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
