If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize