i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My penis needs a shock collar
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
