How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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