Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
