New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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