Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
