Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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