operation harelip BJ is a go
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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