It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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