How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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