My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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