When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
